The Failed Pimp Club (For Anime Boys)
by UndercaringUnderpaidNarrator
Summary: Welcome to the Totally-Cool-Alternate-Pimp-Squad[Club]. Where characters with a lot of girls who aren't quite cool enough to hang out with other characters whom also have a lot of girls, go to spend time and have fun. And trust me, unlike those guys in the Anime Pimp Club, here at the Failed Pimp Club, our egos are down to earth and characters happily 2-D. [GagFic]


[GagFic]

Narrator's Note: Welcome to an on going GagFic series called the Failed Pimp Club. Still not to be taken seriously, and honestly, I'm just avoiding Narrating some of my real works. Because I can. That's what makes it a GagFic.

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 **Introduction - The Birth of the [Failed] Pimp Club**

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Throughout anime history, the classic anime pimp has found near and far. Eventually, due to the magical anime hopping abilities tcreated by abstract fanfiction, these pimp characters managed to find their way together and created the Anime Pimp Club. Fans approved. This club contains many an anime boy who be pimpin', like Seto Kiba from Yu-Gi-Oh!, who, what we didn't realize as children, has an army of woman all dressed the same with the same haircut working for him. Clearly he be pimpin' and was accepted happily into the Anime Pimp Club. It is also the home of several beloved Visual Novel protagonists, including but not limited to Tomoya Okazaki, despite the fact that he was happily married. For a while at least.

Unfortunately for the Anime Pimp Club, they don't actually exist outside of anime, so they couldn't really be pimps, because anyone who knows anything about pimps knows they're no joke. In fact if anything this was more like the "Main Character Protagonist Harem Club", only for boys and those who thought themselves to be boys.

It didn't stop them from bein' pimpin'.

One day while Takashi, from the ever present fan service anime High School of the Dead was trying to convince Ichigo Kurosaki that zombie girls count towards his number of women, Goro Mustsumi found his way to the Anime Pimp Club, thinking that having twelve female angels all who loved him in one way or another would qualify him for membership. However, much to his surprise (but to no one else) the leader of the club, (who shall remain unnamed in this file for his own protection) promptly turned Goro down. Apparently it seemed that having a number of his angels be young children disqualified him for the membership. It also made him slightly creepy. What didn't help his case was that Goro had never dated a girl and that's an absolute must have on the resume.

Spirit broken, Goro wandered out of the club room, but not until after receiving strange looks from the more heroic members – like SAO's Kirito - when hearing some of his woman were not woman at all, but in fact young girls. And as the door slammed behind him, cliché anime rain began to pour as far as Goro's eyes could see. But then in a flash of lighting, another figure became clear, standing outside the club. The other man was looking longingly up at the club's sign, his face twisted in a pouting manner.

Naturally, Goro stopped, asking the man if he was okay. No – perhaps the word 'man' is stretching it a bit. He was more like a teenager, a sad pathetic teenager. The boy soon introduced himself as Wataru Minakami: the main character of the Sister Princess franchise. He explained that not a week earlier, he had also tried to gain a membership into the famous club because he had twelve sisters who all adored him. Wataru was promptly rejected because – and I quote - "Der yur sistahs' dog".

In all fairness, there are plenty of members in the club with sister romances, however, the boys considered Wataru too 2-D to reconsider. Grisaia's Yuuji Kazami being a prime example of men whose sisters love them in an incest-y way, yet still somehow makes the clubs hall of fame. But, on the flip side Yuuji can also shoot guns and bought one of everything in the Tragic Past Store, making him a true Visual Novel Protagonist.

Unable to believe that fate had brought such two similar men together, Goro immediately befriended Wataru, and in a couple of weeks (since he was unemployed Goro could certainly take the time off), he brought his twelve angels to meet the twelve sisters. Counting Mami, who wasn't actually Wataru's sister but a device to move the plot along, that made twenty five women in one house, and two men. However, since Wataru and Goro were failed pimps, the living situation was much more two dimensional then someone would expect.

In that vacation, Goro had a sudden realization. The two of them didn't need the Pimp Club, those dastardly main characters who rejected them. They were having plenty of fun right here. And even more so, there were bound to be other like them, rejected by lone wolfs and main characters.

They could start their own club. It would be a club where all backwash rejects of the Anime Pimp Club could find sanctuary. All of the 2-D characters with 2-D love interests. And thus, the "Totally-Cool-Alternate-Pimp-Squad[Club]" was founded. Or, as we in the industry call it - "The Failed Pimp Club".

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Narrator's Note: So that was a thing. Hope you had some laughs. Who else is in the Anime Pimp Club? And what other members should join the "Totally-Cool-Alternate-Pimp-Squad[Club]"? Tell me in the comments who you think should join!

Next up: Chapter One - Starting Today, You're Not a Pimp!


End file.
